So when you find yourself locked onto an unpleasant train of thought, heading for places in your past where screaming is unbearable, remember there’s always madness.
Madness is the emergency exit.
It’s a bad day. At least till now, don’t know about afternoon or the evening but I hardly think there’s even a pinch of goodness in today. I can’t explain ‘why and what’ of it but it’s just not good vibes, that’s it cold turkey. Somewhere deep inside I knew this day would come, I honestly hoped I would better not see it, yet it is here and now I don’t know what to do. I should better be keep going the way it was. Because sometimes all you can do is to behave as if you don’t care, tell yourself that it doesn’t matter to you. Sometimes you just ought to lie to yourself.
You know what strategy I use in Clash Royale game? I send Valkyrie in front and then push Musketeer right behind her. Because I know Valkyrie can take the enemy attack on herself and meantime Musketeer will blow up the opponent’s tower. Musketeer can not take enemy’s heavy shelling, it’s the Valkyrie’s sacrifice that keeps me safe. I’ll now send the “inner me” to the front to absorb the nuclear radiations of situation and keep the rest of me behind it. “Inner me” can be sacrificed to keep a part of myself safe. I know it can take the damage, a lot of it. Only Somras can heal this damage, which is difficult to find here. But you know it’s fine, damage will gradually evaporate. Evaporation will have side effects, but it can be tackled. So my plan is to just absorb it for now and pretend that things can’t be much better. It’s time to see birds chirping, sun shining and appreciate what a beautiful day it is.
“Don’t let the noise of others’ opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.”